Sometimes, when couples divorce, both are at their breaking point and ready for the split. But many other times, one spouse is still heavily invested in the marriage and vehemently does not want a divorce.

What happens then? How can you bring the nonaccepting spouse to the point where they accept the reality of the situation?

The harsh truth is that you cannot force your spouse to accept it. However, divorce is a process and not a single event. And because no one can force their spouse to remain in the marriage once that spouse is determined to end it, letting that process play out will allow the recalcitrant spouse to come to terms with it gradually.

Below are some tips to make the process go more smoothly:

  • Don’t build false hope. While you always want to be civil and kind to your soon-to-be ex-spouse, beware of displaying signs of affection that could be misconstrued as a reconciliation attempt.
  • Don’t be too helpful. It’s okay to show kindness and pitch in when your spouse has an emergency, but allowing them to get some independence is not a bad thing. Don’t keep handling your spouse’s problems for them if they have the capacity to manage on their own. 
  • Don’t let them drag it out. Spouses who want to stay married can delay a divorce in myriad ways. Your best defense is to put your faith in the system and your attorney’s directions.

Your Mesa family law attorney is equipped with the skills and the tools to keep the divorce process moving along at the right pace while you focus on the emotional factors that may be holding you back.